April 2011
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dear allison arngrim,
you are not cool enough to keep me at work late while your even less cool—dare i say, shitty—friends blab on and on about being “culture shocked” because “everyone here is white” and “has no manners.” bitch please, you’re in the midwest. haven’t you noticed how we’re all still being really nice to you even though you’re an...
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Girls who wear helmets are more attractive than...
lkmlln:
or will be eventually.
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w: they're calling for snow next week.
m: fuck that. i see snow in may, i'm stealing an airplane, flying it as high as it will go, and finding *something* to punch.
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omg the patio is totes open at shanghai!! super...
but if you ask me for a table out there i will automatically like you 20% less.
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never in my wildest dreams
would i actually have thought that on the night the weau (local nbc affiliate) news anchors came in for dinner that there would be a sports car parked outside with the vanity plate “STY CLSY,” and that when they left THEY WOULD ALL GET IN IT AND DRIVE OFF INTO THE NIGHT TOGETHER.
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wye oak - mother (danzig cover), for the onion av club’s undercover 2011.
starting to really wish we hadn’t punked out on seeing them a couple weeks ago.
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this week's work checklist:
hear the story of how my co-worker hooked up with a harlem globetrotter on wednesday night after a couple of them came in for dinner
ponder the true meaning of zz top’s “pearl necklace”
eavesdrop on a gay guy with a wedding band and frosted tips who is totally in a sham marriage with (at least) one of the two mini-snookis he came in with
tell old ladies to “cram it” (re: to go boxes, tee...
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"that's like putting down the face value of your...
this is a banker punchline that will guarantee a table-full of laughs. you’re welcome.
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I mean, do a group of old white ladies govern what goes on with my balls? No....
– Ned Hepburn of Death and Taxes magazine sums up the situation in Indiana, where all abortions past 22 weeks were banned last week.
(via motherjones)
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